Life is not like the movies

And it's not meant to be really. We all want a fantasy world, we want every relationship to have an happily ever after. That's why we go to movies. Hollywood is really smart; they know how to make the audience "aww" and wish they had a love life like the movies. But those who choose to believe that it is, will prossibly fail at relationships. Movies give you a false sense of how a real, lasting relationship should be and how it will actually come about.

First of all, a lot of the movies we watch I would label as "trashy movies"; they give you the exact opposite of how couples should act (and yes I'm looking at this from an LDS perspective because that's who I am and I don't think more than 3 people are reading this blog anyway)

Guy meets girl in a bar or club, they spend a few hours together and "fall in love", make out, sleep together and most likely don't get married. If they do get married that's a plus. Now that's definitely not going to happen in my relationships so I rule that out.

So then there's the higher quality movies. Guy meets girl and they have to learn to like each other. They eventually fall in love and spend every waking minute together until they finally kiss and there's a flash forward to their wedding. Whoa whoa what happened in the middle? Movies can't show you the 6 months of dating before the engagement. They can't show you how they spent each week, how they had to work and go to school in the middle of that. Hollywood's only got about fifteen minutes to do that and in those fifteen minutes you basically only see them laughing at each others' jokes, kissing, and being "in love". 

I think some people - and I'll admit it's mostly girls because of the chick flicks we constantly watch - want a relationship to happen too quickly. They meet someone, start to like them, and think they should be dating 3 weeks later. They think it'll be "just like the movies" where you see the relationship build in a 3 minute montage of flirtatiousness. I always used to wonder how people fall in love that fast!? It's not actually possible...just so you know.

Movies are not like reality....but...

 

I watched a movie last week called "My Girlfriend's Boyfriend". It was fabulous and one of the most interesting movies. It had a twist, so I liked that, but the idea made me think for a really long time. 

The main actor is a writer, but when he takes his first novel in to be published they turn it down. They tell him that the leading man is not leading man enough. Women like to read about girls like them falling in love with a tall, dark, and handsome man who is charming and debonaire. Or in other words, not like the man she is with. They tell him that in reality women want that terribly attractive man but settle and marry someone who's... not so much. So that's why they read romance novels - to step into a fantasy for just a while (whether it's a novel or a movie it's the same idea) But in the end of the movie it all works out for the best because he falls in love with a beautiful girl and it's so cute! (I may or may not have squealed out of happiness throughout the whole movie...but hey I'm a girl). But really this movie was an exception to a lot of the movies I've been talking about. The whole point of the movie was to tell girls to get their heads out of the clouds and see the man who's right in front of them. It helped me realize that the love story I really want is not the rich guy with a car who's ridiculously handsome to the world's standards - and most likely has a big head about it. It's the guy who walks me everywhere cause he doesn't have a car yet, who makes me laugh until my sides hurt, who's ridiculously handsome in my eyes...and who inspires me.

So I'm thinking... the person you are with, dating, engaged, or married, becomes exactly who you want doesn't he/she? If you were not initially attracted to them but then you fall in love with their personality they become the most attractive person to you right? You may see some random guy and think "well he's hott", but it doesn't matter because you have someone who is ten times better because he is kind and selfless and amazing. 

Ok now I think I'm just babbling...back to my initial thought process...

Real love takes a long time to develop I think. I think people should become best friends first, best friends who know each other so well that they decide they want to spend the rest of their life together. I have no experience with being in love, and I'm 20 years old, which just further proves my point that movies are a false reality. I should have had like 5 boyfriends by this point right? But even though I don't know what it's like to be in love yet, the kind of relationship I want is the "friends first" one.

However, If the only places you have to pull from when you're in your first relationship ever are your roommates - 2 of which have hardly ever gone on dates, one who goes out with a different boy every night, and another who sits in her room and turns down a different guy every night - and the movies...you may be in a bit of trouble...unless you go out and find out for yourself what dating is like.

Even though sometimes I feel like I have no idea what I'm doing, it's the adventures that we learn the most from and love the most in the end right?

Well at least that's what my stories tell me ;)